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!UPDATES! X2 Please...We need a miracle...

Journal Entry: Tue Jan 24, 2017, 11:08 AM
1-26-2017 PM UPDATES: waiting a call back from a group that may be able to give me prescription assistance on my pain and fibro meds. 

Just got off the phone with them. It would be $80 a month plus a $50 enrollment fee and would take 4-6 weeks to get the first refill through them. That would be $80 I'd have to have in my PayPal account every month.  I can talk to a member of the MAPS organization through the place where I get therapy in the next few days...they may be able to find a way to help but since it's pain medication, they're not sure. The program through the maker of two of the three meds has a program where I may be able to get them for free, but once again it will take 2-4 weeks to be approved or disapproved.

1-26-2017 UPDATES:
I know they advise keeping such things updated so I will let you know how things go. So far $300 has shown up in my PayPal. I've paid my cell bill and am getting my meds filled tomorrow...The outpouring of support on DA has set me beside myself...

Well, its not all good news...just got off the phone with the pharmacy and only one I can afford right now. Without insurance the one I need most is $425 by itself so I am looking to see if I can find some kind of assistance program before it runs out.

I'm trying to remain hopeful but so far it's not looking good. Just to see my pain Doc without insurance is $105. I will try to fax him the paperwork to apply for assistance for this one medication but it's hundreds of dollars by itself otherwise. Either way I will be out of both pain meds and my Fibro meds within a week and a half. Being off them will be hell. Falling off them like this will make it worse. I don't know if you wanted to update the fundraiser with this information but in ok with it if you do.

Every damn time I think I have a break this happens...I'm so sorry to have involved you all in this.

^I wish so much that I could get this. It took me over 6 hours to just post the art I uploaded yesterday. Now the number pad and touch pad buttons on mine won't work most the time and our only other computer is to old to handle photoshop which means either way my art is finished.

Art wishes


...ever since my daughter died things have continued falling apart...I have not found anyone who would hire my broken self and he has not found work of any sort. One job only offered him 9.50 a hour and was 37 miles (one way) away so the gas wouldn't even balance out. I've had no pain meds. I'm out of sleep meds. The stress has me extremely ill. The dogs are almost out of food, my cell bill is due in 7 days. Rent is due the first. Our 16th anniversary is in 2 weeks. We're almost out of food. I have 71 cents to my name. I'm tired of asking for miracles, donations, or paying art jobs. I have nothing left.

Half my laptop is broken; the keys no longer working. Now my PS3 has broken.
I'm tired of hoping for help, for someone to organize a donation rally for me like I have done for so many others. I'm tired of putting my all into everything I do and not being worth the same effort and sacrifice in return. I have given to much of myself and now everything I need is breaking, failing or being taken away. Things I need to function. Things I need to live. All that's left of me is a screen name and fading memories of the years I had given to get things done for so many more than myself. But no matter how much I give I can never repay the few whom have helped me. 

...I am in so much pain... Loki needs to go to the vet and it looks like Nyny has the beginning of the same kind of eye mass Kirby had surgery for. Loki's right ear is giving him constant discomfort, his head shaking has increased and me cleaning it out with q-tips only gives him a day or two before he's carrying it at an angle and constantly worrying it.



A New Era - REF SHEET by ShaQuaVara
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PrincessBlossomStar Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Is there anything I can do to help? Ill send you some money if I can find any. Im only in elementary school after all. Ill post a link to this to get some people to see. I don't get most if this, but I do have depression so, Ill try whatever I can to help a fellow saddie.
ShaQuaVara Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks so much...this really means a lot and it helps knowing you care. :hug:
PrincessBlossomStar Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sychynte Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2017
I can't give you anything, but you have me and everyone I can get's prayers. Huggle! 
Wolfboy900 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2017
you have my prayers.  ill send what i can
SnowLeopardCreative Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2017
I'm sorry to hear your problems persist, compounded.  I think lives sometimes run parallel. I was thinking recently how ironic it is that I'm working again only to be so far in debt I can do nothing. I know how you feel in some regard. At times I'd have been lost without the help of others.  I wish I could do something to help in return.  I gave up pets when I moved, having to let them go, and broke a part of my soul I can't get back. I squashed that down, not to face it. It's one of those things ... you don't want to reflect back on. I can't have pets where I am. I hate that. Animals are life.

In any case, we don't get to talk much, and so I try to intersperse little tidbits amidst my thoughts. I wish that I could offer some comfort, assistance.  I can only offer understanding and empathy instead.

Wishing you and Mog the best getting back on your feet and beyond this low time.  Keep hold of hope and persevere. Pretty words, but there is some substance. Believe things will improve. Hope is what keeps you going in life.
The-Victor-Catbox Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2017  Student Traditional Artist
I shared this on my Tumblr.
killersprinkles Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
I'm not able to help you financially, but I am here for you if you need to rant. I can't say I know how you feel because I don't know. I am not you. But I truly believe you will be in at least a slightly better situation soon. This artist community has helped out many people. For example, I found that you were struggling from another wonderful artist that goes by Escaron. She truly wants to help. So do I, and many other artists. Again if you need someone to talk to I'm here. I wish you luck as well
joshbluemacaw Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2017  Student Filmographer
I'm sorry to hear that. :(
TwilightWolfix Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2017
I hope it gets better soon!
BlackBy Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2017   Digital Artist
I gave you as much as I can, I hopeit will help you. Stay strong.
Fanfictioniscool Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope everything turns out alright remember there's always I light at the end of the tunnel!
(Sorry if you hate that quote)

Ill spread the word about this.

Everything will get better and stay awesome!
Ill pray for you
ShadowIsStillAlive Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I just sent you $5... sorry I can't give more. I hope everything gets better for you all soon.
dreamfloatingby Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2017
hi. followed the link here from Nymla's journal. Just sent some via paypal. Sorry to hear about Loki being in pain. =( Hope every little bit helps.
SabrePanther Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017  Professional Artisan Crafter
regarding the laptop, my mother had a similar computer issue with a busted keyboard so she bought a keyboard that attaches via usb. That may be a feasible option to prolong the use of the laptop? And agreed regarding checking on a gofundme account. Worth a try!
VexFox Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017  Professional General Artist
Have you setup a gofund me? Or looked into aid like government assisted living/healthcare? I'm severely strapped and in a pretty bad situation right now so there's not much I can do to help other than offer advice. I  don't know what you've looked into but I've looked into a lot of government aid for myself so if you haven't looked into that I could help guide you through it?
Lem0nGin Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
like KnotLines said, if your money situation ain't getting better soon, it should be better for the dogs to look new homes for them. it's a cruel thing for a stranger to say but it's the truth.
also, consider selling some more or less unneeded stuff around your house. i'm sure there's at least something.
ShaQuaVara Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
As for the dogs, please see my reply to KnotLines and unfortunately, we have already sold most of what we can spare and in the hald dead town we live in there is only pawn shops watched by the cops. Our equal to a buy used store went out of business a year after we moved here and the closest one that might offer anything that could actually be worth it, is over 40 miles away. I have looked into ebay and such but even there I don't have anything left worth a damn. As I mentioned, my laptops buttons are stopping working from right to left and no one would buy it in this shape. My only other item worth anything on todays markets would be my PS3 and it died on me day before yesterday.

Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions and for taking the time to share them with me.
KnotLines Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know it must hurt to consider this, but I think it might be in your best interest, and theirs too, if you found a new home for your dogs. Hopefully before they run out of food or become critically ill. Also in terms of a job, just keep looking. If you show diligence, someone WILL hire you.

Standing up out of disaster, and pain defying description is an incredibly hard thing to do, not to mention a horrible thing to HAVE to do....but just because it's hard doesn't mean it's impossible, and I'm sure your daughter is also cheering you on to pick up the pieces and start to rebuild your life
ShaQuaVara Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I have considered this many times...but rehoming the dogs isn't an option. Lanyiah is my assistance dog for one. Kirby is 11 years old and we've had him from 9 months old for two...and I have tried for months to find Loki a new home but nothing came of it. I even reached out to rescues and everyone said the same thing....that they were full past capacity and cannot take on another animal. We've had Loki for almost a year now and he has finally begun to trust us. With what he is, the longer he is with us, the harder it will be to send him away even if we did find someone.
I have tried the options available to us and beyond...they are my kids and it did hurt to consider and look for such options but that avenue is also closed for us.

Thank you for your kind words. Strength is in short supply these days and it helped to hear.
Orallis Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I cant even begin to know how this must pain you.  Im sorry I cant do more, I dont have a paypal.  But here is what I have, you should be able to convert these points to money.  I hope it works out.  If you need someone to talk to Im open no matter what.
Kagisnad Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017
i can't help but i can send good wishes. stay strong, things will work out eventually.
Shralen Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I send you some money, I wish you good luck.
unicorn-skydancer08 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
CaptainFeatherhead Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
It wasn't much, but I sent a bit to your paypal account via the footer on your journal. Hope it helps enough to get food.
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Submitted on
January 24


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